Menu:

 

Cutting to ease the pain

Date Posted: Monday, April 02, 2007
Author: Christen Pears

Lisa began cutting herself at the age of 14. Two or three times a week she would lock herself in her bedroom and methodically slash her arms. As the blood began to flow she experienced a deep sense of calm.

 

“Anyone who hasn’t done it themselves finds it really difficult to understand. They assume you must be mentally ill or an attention seeker but for me it was like a safety valve. I could let out all of the feelings I had and it was the only time I felt in control,” she says.

 

Lisa (not her real name) is one of thousands of young people, mainly women, who self-harm. A network of scars criss-crosses her forearms, attracting curious stares and occasionally looks of revulsion from strangers.“I’ve seen people stare at my arms and I know they think I’m a freak but there are a lot of people who self-harm. It’s not because they’re weird; they’re just trying to find a way of coping with things that are happening in their lives.” 

Widespread problem

People usually self-harm as a result of profound emotional pain. Self-harming can help to release feelings of self-loathing or anger and is often linked to problems in a young person’s life such as being bullied at school, not getting on with their parents, abuse or bereavement.

 

“Self-harm is a symptom of extreme distress”, explains Dr Maggie Cormack, a clinical psychologist at the Acute Community Mental Health Service.

 

“It’s usually when a person doesn’t have a sense of any other way in which they can express that distress and therefore gain control. A lot of people talk about a sense of relief, a very transitory relief when they cut. It seems like a pressure builds up related to the distress and they feel they have to do something about it. Because they don’t know what else to do, they cut. At that point of cutting they often feel a great sense of relief. They also feel the pain of it. Sometimes they block out the pain but that isn’t always so. It’s the experience of feeling the pain that’s important.”

 

Self-harm can start in childhood but is most common during the teenage years and affects mainly girls. “We expect men to express their stress in anger and what might come out as aggression or conduct disorder with boys comes out as cutting yourself with girls,” says Dr Cormack.

 

The most common method of self-harm is repeatedly cutting the skin but some self-harmers burn, scald or hit themselves. Others even swallow small amounts of toxic substances.

Because many self-harmers hide what they’re doing it’s difficult to estimate how many people it affects but according to Dr Cormack it’s not uncommon.

 

“We are certainly seeing more self-harm than a few years ago but that doesn’t necessarily mean numbers are increasing. It may be because it has become more acceptable to visit a  psychologist or psychiatrist so more cases are coming to light,” she says. 

 

Coping with the pain

 

For Lisa, self-harm became a means of coping with her parents’ divorce. Born in Bermuda, she moved to England at the age of 12 after her parents separated. She felt isolated in a country she had only visited previously on holiday and found it difficult to settle in at school, where her grades suffered. 

 

“I was frustrated and lonely, angry at my parents for splitting up. I didn’t have any friends I could really talk to. I felt a lot of pressure and I didn’t know how to handle it. That’s when I started self–harming,” she explains.

 

“I don’t really know why I started doing it but I remember being in the house on my own and going into the kitchen to get a knife. I sat at the table and started making cuts on the palm of my hand – nothing deep at first but I kept going until it started bleeding. It didn’t hurt at the time. It just felt good. It was only afterwards that I was in pain.”

 

She did it again a few weeks later and soon it was becoming a regular occurrence. She started cutting her arms with razor blades and took to wearing long sleeves to conceal the cuts. At that stage she wasn’t aware that what she was doing had a name or that it was a common occurrence among young people.

 

“For me it was just about coping with what was going on in my life. When everything around you is out of control, it’s the one thing you have power over. It was never a cry for help or trying to commit suicide like people assume. I actually think if I didn’t self-harm I might have committed suicide because I was so depressed,” she explains.

 

As Lisa continued to self-harm, it became more difficult to hide the scars and her mother eventually discovered what had been happening. Horrified that her daughter was cutting herself, she encouraged her to see her doctor. Lisa was referred to a counsellor whom she began to see on a weekly basis.

 

“That was the first time I realized what I was doing and why I was doing it. That didn’t mean I stopped. By that stage it was like an addiction. But I did understand more about the things that were making me self-harm.”

 

Lisa is now 19 and is back in Bermuda, taking a year out before she starts university in the UK. She still self-harms occasionally but feels she is finally getting to grips with her situation.“I try to look on the positive side of things now and when I feel down I have other tools that I can use to get through situations. It’s hard because self-harm was such a big part of my life but I can handle things much better now.” 

Stigma

Like Lisa, many people stop self-harming as they get older and become more independent. They may gain more control or learn new methods of coping but that isn’t always the case. Others continue to self-harm into adulthood. It may often re-emerge at times of stress.

 

“It’s a strategy they’ve used before so they return to it even though they know it’s not a productive strategy. It’s a coping skill in the same way that the rest of us may procrastinate about something or go home and have a drink,” says Dr Cormack.

  

There are many misunderstandings surrounding self-harm and consequently it often carries a stigma. Many people assume self-harmers are simply attention seekers but according to Dr Cormack, the opposite is true.

“Mostly they hide it and are mortified when somebody discovers it. It’s not a cry for help. Some are extremely successful at hiding quite severe damage for years,” she says. Nor is self-harm usually about suicide.  “For most self-harmers there is usually a feeling that life isn’t worth living and that death might be a nice alternative but there’s a big distinction between that feeling and going about trying to kill yourself. Cutting is often a way of dealing with the death with wish before it gets to the point of suicide. Many people say they do it so they don’t kill themselves. It’s a safety valve.”  

Treatment varies according to each case but is usually a combination of medication and some form of talking therapy such as counselling which helps the patient to understand why it happens and work out ways to minimize it.

 

Dr Cormack sees a number of patients each year at the Acute Community Mental Health Service. Although it’s based in the Mid-Atlantic Wellness Institute, it is an outpatient service where brighly-coloured pictures and pot plants create a homely feel in the treatment rooms. 

 

“We try to make it as normal and welcoming as possible. There is no stigma. Coming here doesn’t mean you’re mad. Sometimes people need some extra help for a problem that can’t be dealt with by family or friends. It could be you or me.” 

Anyone looking for help with self-harm should make an appointment with their GP, who can refer them to the Community Mental Health Serive or should contact the service directly on 2362770. There is a 24-hour answering service.

Copyright © 2006 MediaCom  ::   About Us   ::   Contact Us   ::   Privacy   ::   Home